I Am Not Afraid to be Seen Trying #8
In today's episode of The BT Lounge, Brittanny talks about how she submitted her paintings to an art show and got rejected, yet, she's still proud of herself. When sharing about this rejection online, her esthetician, Emily, left a comment that inspired this episode.
If you are afraid to try, think you will be judged, or life's circumstances are holding you back, this episode is for you.
https://www.instagram.com/brittanny/
Emily the esthetician https://www.instagram.com/skinspecialistri/
ASAP Rocky intermission: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMZilc9NWxc
Podcast artwork by Brittany Lizotte https://brittlizo.com
Podcast music by Joshua Van Ness https://www.joshuavanness.com
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0:00
Hello there. Welcome back to the BT lounge. I hope you're doing well today. On Instagram, I've made a real about not getting into an art show. But I was still very proud of myself anyway. I was proud of myself because the goal was to submit my paintings to an art show. I'm very new to painting. I know nothing about painting; I have no technique. All I know is to get emotions onto canvas. I thought it would be cool to submit my paintings to this upcoming gallery exhibit. And today, I found out that they weren't accepted, and that's totally fine because my goal was to submit the paintings. And I did it. I didn't question myself or my talents or abilities because that's not even a thought for me. I'm not painting to show off some talent.
1:14
Talent is not a reason I paint because it's therapeutic for me, and it's the exact opposite of what I do for work as a photographer. My photography is perfect, essentially. It's to sell something. Most of my clients are small business owners themselves, so I'm showing them in their best light. And even though I love what I do, it doesn't give me many opportunities to express myself. And I get to do that when I paint. And my paintings are the exact opposite of my photography. They're messy, ugly, chaotic, nuanced, complicated, and raw. It's the parts of me that I can't express in any other way. Even though I did not get into the exhibition, I am so incredibly proud of myself; I received great feedback on that post. And one comment stood out to me from my esthetician, Emily, as she said she likes to remind herself of this quote; "I am not afraid to be seen trying." I am not afraid to be seen trying. It brought me back to when I was younger. And it was almost cool not to try. It was cool not to want anything more for yourself, which I always found strange.
2:30
ASAP Rocky: It doesn't matter. Yeah, I'm trying thing you tried it too; how are you gonna knock somebody in the world for actually trying to do something trying? Since when has it become not cool to try?
2:42
Maybe I'm a different breed of person because I don't know why people are afraid to try. I've never had people who told me not to try or give it my all. But I notice that my situation is not as common as I would like. I grew up in an artistic family, and most of my friends in my adult life are doing their own thing, sometimes in the arts. Even my city's nickname is the "Creative Capital." But when I zoom out and look at people in smaller towns or other places in this country, a lot of people are afraid to try and do something different. They might be itching to do something out of their comfort zone or run away and do something completely different from their family. But they don't. There are various reasons for that. Today I'm talking about the fear of not trying.
3:35
One of the dangers of not trying is you run the chance of being unfulfilled and always wondering what could have been. I don't get people who say they don't have regrets because I have plenty of regrets. Oh my god, I have regrets. One of my biggest regrets will always be the fear of not going for it. I don't care if I end up failing; at least I did it. At least I tried. I may have done some things that have concerned friends or family. And when I say family, I mostly mean my husband. I get it. It's scary when you work for yourself and want to try something new, or you turn down a big job because you just know that something better is coming your way. It just does not align with where you're at in this moment. But I keep going, and I keep trying. I keep evolving, trying new things, and throwing out what doesn't work. I just keep pushing ahead. I can't sit on something that I think is brilliant.
4:45
Percy's Interruption: Oh my god, are you serious? Are you serious? Holy shit.
4:52
I hate knowing that I had a really good idea and didn't act on it. I would hate knowing that it's just lost to the ether. Even though I have a million ideas a day, and, of course, they're all brilliant; I do not act out on all of them. But I do try my hardest to test out something new, whether with my business or personal life, and it never hurts to try. At worst, it doesn't work out. And at best, it does work out, or at least you get a really good story out of it.
5:34
Another danger of not trying, and I see this one a lot, is you're living life on someone else's terms. This one makes me sad because it's more relevant than you may think. It could be your parents not supporting you unless you go to the college they want you to go to, or it could be a partner who is afraid that you will quit your job. Your new business fails; what will that mean for the family's income? Or, you could be from a small town, and becoming an artist is just not what's done, or for financial reasons, you still have to live at home with some family members. They're just not accepting of who you truly are. There are so many reasons for being scared to try. For the first few reasons I listed earlier, it sounds like people in your life don't trust you enough to succeed. So therefore, you start to question yourself. Why would you want to try if the people around you think you're gonna fail before you even start? And for other reasons, when you don't have a support system that wants you to succeed, either because it's just not what you do or they're unaccepting of who you are, it's easier to just be like everyone else; it becomes a preservation mechanism. And I totally get it, and I respect what you have to do to survive. I really do. It's a shame that so many people's fears hold us back from becoming who we are meant to be or at least attempting to figure out who that person is.
7:12
Here's the thing, if you try out something new, you're not gonna die–unless you're doing some wild stuff you saw someone do on the internet, you might die, but in general, you're not gonna die. You may feel uncomfortable. Sure. But as I like to tell my yoga students, if you feel pain, back out, but if you feel discomfort, that's just your body getting used to what is happening; give yourself a chance to ease into it. Most humans are not going to nail something new immediately. First try. I noticed I've been saying, "That's ridiculous" a lot in my podcasts. So here's another round of it. That's ridiculous! Who told you that you're going to be perfect at something immediately?! I wish you could see my face right now.
8:03
People feel it has to be a sure thing to try something new because we're afraid to be made fun of. When you have people around you who have never tried and did what they were told to do, or they did what society says to do, they will judge you so damn fast. That's their issue. Again, I'm a special case because I really don't give a shit what people say about me. But if I can offer a bit of myself to you, it doesn't matter what they say; if they do not have a stake in it, I don't care. I just don't care. And you shouldn't care either. Folks always think about how other people's actions affect them. So if you are trying something new that takes you away from someone else, say a partner or family member, they will probably have some opinions about it. And listen, they have to take up that with their Lord and the therapist. It is not your problem! Unless you're joining an MLM. Don't join an MLM. I'm not going to make a separate podcast episode about MLMs but listen, that's the only thing I say. Don't do that. Please don't do that. Don't try it out. It's not worth it, trust me. But aside from that, if someone's gonna question what you do, I love when you prove somebody wrong! Love it! If that needs to be a driving force. Go ahead, do it. Prove them wrong. There is probably some jealousy there. Let's be honest.
9:36
You are surrounded by people who also want to try and do something different, but they're so afraid of being made fun of or not succeeding that they hold themselves back, and therefore, they try to hold you back as well. You may have seen this quote before; if you haven't, memorize this: "You will never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you. You will only be criticized by someone doing less." I'm gonna say it again. You will never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you; you will only be criticized by someone doing less. I will add that if you find a peer doing a lot, and they're criticizing you, oh, honey, that's insecurity. Again, they could take it up with their Lord and therapist. It's not your problem. Do not let other people's insecurities prevent you from trying. Instead, show them that it's possible. Show them that it's so easy just to give it a go. It doesn't matter if you fail or succeed. Because you're proud of yourself for trying in the first place, that's how you win.
10:44
I have a three-month coaching container called Embody by BT, a space for people ready to try and change their lives for the better. Being in the coaching space, I've seen such fear from potential clients who are afraid to be judged because they're hiring a coach. So I'm like, let me get this straight. You're afraid of what other people think because you want to live a better life? Truly think about that. We are afraid to better ourselves because of other people's opinions. It sounds like they're the ones that need to better their own lives. They're the ones; you know what? Send them a link to your coach because they need it too. Then I hear, "Well, okay, I signed up for coaching. And what if it fails?" You're signed up, so you're already on a winning streak. If you are open and curious to learn and to try, you will not fail. There's no failing here. Every time you try something new, you're stacking up those points of becoming better than you were before every single time you try. So like Emily said, "I am not afraid to be seen trying." When you let yourself be seen, you inspire other people to try out something new.
12:05
I really hope you enjoy this episode of the BT Lounge. I am so glad that this situation happened the way it did because this is something that needed to be said. If this resonates with you, please let me know. I would love for you to share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it. Thank you so much for all the amazing feedback! I would love it if you gave this podcast five stars and liked it, and followed it on all the platforms. There are so many podcast platforms nowadays that I can't keep up! But please give this podcast five stars. Give it a follow. If you can, leave a comment. I would really love that. Thanks again for listening to this episode of The BT Lounge, and I'll see you here next week.
