Ask BT Anything! #9
On this episode of The BT Lounge, Brittanny wants you to ask her anything! She answers three questions sent in from listeners and friends of the pod. Check out this episode to hear BT’s advice on losing friends, being ok with being single, and finding the motivation to work on your home.
If you have a question for Brittanny, you can email her at hello@brittannytaylor.com, and she will answer it on the next episode of Ask BT Anything! And she means anything.
https://www.instagram.com/brittanny/
Podcast artwork by Brittany Lizotte https://brittlizo.com
Podcast music by Joshua Van Ness https://www.joshuavanness.com
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0:05
Hey there, welcome back to the BT Lounge. I hope you're doing well. Today we're doing something a little different. It's a Q&A episode; ask it anything. I have three questions sent in by friends and listeners of the podcast. I'm going to do my best to answer each question in under three minutes. So let's see if I can do it.
0:32
The first question is, what do you do when friends leave?
I have had many friends leave, and I have left friends behind. Friendship breakups happen when someone has reached a breaking point; it could be growth, change in values, betrayal, and the list goes on and on. Yet, when we hope that time comes, some type of conversation will happen. But most of the time, it shows up as canceling hangouts, not texting back, or sheer avoidance until the months pass with no communication at all. Even if the friend decides they hate you, it would be nice to know that upfront. But I've witnessed that too, and it hurts just the same. We cannot control other people's actions, but we can always control how we respond; it is natural to want to reflect on every single thing that could clue you in on what happened.
What was the moment when things went wrong, but that will not affect what's already been done? There's nothing wrong with reflecting on the past, but take what you find as a lesson and adapt it to your current and new relationships. When a friend decides they no longer want to be a friend anymore, it is incredibly painful and sad. But please remember it's not a reflection on you; people change. And if you think about it, there was probably a time when you were on the other side of this equation as well. A friendship breakup sometimes is more painful than a relationship breakup because your friends are supposed to be there forever. Or at least that's what they say. You also may have heard that some relationships are there for a reason, a season, or forever. There have been plenty of people I thought were my forever people. And it turns out they weren't. I still have moments of sadness when I look back on those friendships and how they ended. But I also know that if they stuck around, I probably wouldn't be in the place I'm in now. I can remember the good parts finally and leave the rest behind. And I hope the same for you, dear listener who asked this question. Take the time to grieve the loss and try your best to remember that there are still so many beautiful relationships in your life; spend time with the ones you love who are here with you right now.
3:00
Question number two is how to be okay when you are alone. At first, I didn't know how to answer this question. But it reminded me of any time a single person is told, "Don't worry. They'll come when you least expect it." And I tell you what, every time that is said, another alpha male podcast is born; no one wants to hear it. But that actually happened to me. I got to the point of feeling so fulfilled by myself that I remember saying out loud one day while sitting on the edge of my bed that I would be completely fine not being in a relationship. I meant it. I was really happy and feeling good about where I was in life at that moment. And then, of course, I met my now husband, maybe a week later after I said that.
I know the querent personally, and they are an amazing, funny, sweet person. But there's a point when constantly reminded of that becomes a bunch of platitudes. My only advice is to continue to live your life and have a damn good time doing it. I have a single friend who constantly has adventures and shows what she's up to online. She's genuinely enjoying life so much that it's incredibly attractive. I've even slid into her DMs like, "I'm trying to hang out with you."
Do people show up when you least expect it? Possibly. If your eyes are on the prize of having as much fun as humanly possible. Someone is bound to show up because they are going to want to have a really good time with you as well. But in the meantime, you do you and stay stylish and stay fabulous.
4:44
The last question is from someone who wants to work in their home but is not motivated to do it since they have already worked a full day at their job. Who wants to do anything after a long day at work? Depending on your job or how many hours you work, starting your second job, aka getting your house in order, makes you want to pull a permanent no-show. I would advise reframing working on your house as another chance to invest time into your sanctuary. The querent mentioned that they've been in their house for three years and big projects like painting and the flooring still need to be done. I can imagine after a number of years passing that it can feel like it will never get done. To gather some get up and go, pick one area in your home that will be your special place. It could be your bedroom or a tiny room you have no idea what to do with. You could make it a library and reading nook or a witchy meditation yoga spot. Pick a space and completely overhaul it from top to bottom, start to finish, and watch the momentum build up, and you'll get the itch to work on your home more. Or, at the very least, you have one spot that's done, and you can ignore the rest.
6:03
I hope you enjoyed this episode of The BT Lounge–Ask BT Anything! If you have a question you would like to ask me, I would love to answer it. You can send me a message through the email I'll have linked in the show notes. Thanks again for stopping by The BT Lounge, and I'll see you here next week.
