Let People Have The Wrong Impression of You #6
In this week's episode of The BT Lounge, Brittanny shares her thoughts on letting people think whatever they want about you, even if it's completely wrong. Sharing personal anecdotes, Brittanny narrates instances when she found herself in situations where others formed inaccurate impressions about her. She explains how she resisted the urge to defend herself or clarify the misconceptions, opting instead to preserve her mental well-being and redirect her energy towards more fulfilling efforts.
https://www.instagram.com/brittanny/
Podcast artwork by Brittany Lizotte https://brittlizo.com
Podcast music by Joshua Van Ness https://www.joshuavanness.com
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0:02
Hey there, friends. Welcome back to The BT Lounge. I hope you're doing well. Today I want to talk about letting people have the wrong impression of you. I made an Instagram post last year about this, and it did very well. So I know this is something that people need to hear. So I would love to expand on it further; tell me this, have you ever ended up in a situation where something happened between you and someone else? And for all intents and purposes, that other person is clearly in the wrong? Like, there's no question the other person's in the wrong, but there are still people out there that will believe the other person's story. So what do you do? Do you try to convince those people that the other person is wrong? Or do you just let it go? For me, I like to let people know when they're wrong. It's called a character flaw (#sarcasm). I personally like to tell people what's up. And sometimes, it ends up being more stressful than it needs to be.
1:05
I have an example. I worked for a yoga studio last year, and I ended up leaving the studio because a certain person who was, let's say, integral to the studio was lying about me for months. And I did not know; I was livid and, honestly, heartbroken because I thought that I had a very good relationship with this person. I really wanted that person to succeed. But apparently, other things were happening that I was not aware of. Now, this particular lie, and I won't get into it, but let's just say there were a lot of witnesses to the contrary of what this person was saying. So I found it even more interesting that this is what you would lie about.'
But the point is, I felt like I was left in a position to stand up for myself. And I let people know. And some people were like, "Oh, yeah, absolutely, you are on the right side of this situation, and others criticized the other person, but it had nothing to deal with them, so they moved on. That's fine and fair. And then there are other people who I would love to have explained this to because I like those people. But I knew there was no point in trying because there was no way I would ever convince them that their friend was in the wrong. Now, hopefully, you got that story with me being as vague as I possibly could. I could say more, but you know what? I'm picking my petty, and this is not the petty to be picked right now. So I'm gonna move on.
2:34
It's tough to sit there while this person is going around saying a lot of untrue things; that should be clear as day that this person is lying or has some mixed-up, strange version of the story. Even when there are two sides to every story, and the truth is somewhere along the middle, it's very clear that the truth is not anywhere near the other person; there will still be people that side with them. That's going to have to be okay. As frustrating as it is, I have lost a number of friendships because of a falling out with someone. And I would love to share my side of the story with the other people, but there's no way I can without causing issues. In one particular relationship, I was friendly with their sisters, and now, I don't have that relationship anymore because that would just be weird. And there's no way I'm going to say anything to that person, sisters. That's ridiculous. I just have to understand that some relationships will be lost. I also understand that there will be people out there with a completely wrong impression of me, and I have to be okay with that.
3:53
There will always be people you come across telling you tall tales or flat-out lies that they may, in fact, believe in. It's up to us to parse out what is truth and what is fiction. It's not our responsibility to do that work for other people. It can hurt so much when you know that there are people that you respect or care about thinking something untrue about you. I would love to send out a press release for everyone I feel has wronged me, but those people, no matter what they may think, also have their own version of the story. I can't control that. In my example. I stood up for myself, and I left the situation. I said what I had to say, and I had to move on.
4:45
It definitely hurt when those people I thought were on my side ended up returning to that person who, in all honesty, fully betrayed my trust, but that is their choice. I am not in control of anyone else, and neither are you. We are only in control of how we react. I wish I didn't have so many moments in my life where I was put in a situation. But when I take a step back, so many of us have been in the same situation time and time again.
Ten years ago, I was in an abusive relationship. That person started a smear campaign against me, tried to get me blacklisted in a photography scene in New York City, and publicly said some horrible things about me. Some people immediately knew that this person was off their rocker. And then others who didn't know me as well believed what this person had to say. With time and the people who always had my back, letting other people know that, "Oh, no, what you heard about Brittanny is very wrong." Very, very wrong. Things turned around; I chose to rise out of that situation a decade ago, a stronger person who wanted my actions to show the type of person I am.
My reputation precedes me; people know that I am a trustworthy, hardworking person who cares deeply for my community, and I'm a person that takes absolutely no shit. So if people out there hear some weird shit about me, hopefully, they know it doesn't sound right. But if they believe it, that's on them. They do not know me or choose not to know who I am. I can imagine the text messages I will get after this episode of "Who did what now?!" No one did anything. No one. But this is a conversation I absolutely wanted to have on this podcast.
6:46
So what's the answer? All we can do is live our lives earnestly and genuinely. And that's it. All you can do is continue to be who you are. And if you know that you are living life earnestly, genuinely, and respectfully let them say their shit. It doesn't matter. Let people have the wrong impression about you. They're the ones who are going to look like fools in the end.
7:07
I hope you enjoyed this episode of The BT Lounge. I truly hope it was helpful. I don't hear many people talking about this, even back when I originally posted about it. So I hope that this helps. If you know anyone else in a similar situation, please send this podcast episode to them. I appreciate all of the follows, the five-star reviews, and all the feedback you've sent my way this past month of the podcast being alive. It means so much to me. I truly appreciate every single one of you. I'll see you back here next week at the BT Lounge.
